July 31, 2008

VIDA

life has so many roads
blocked paths, detours
red lights, yellow lights
car strife....
I'm on the side of the road
broken down
& Triple A is taking forever
I knew I should've learned how to change.....a tire.

*snap snap*
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July 29, 2008

I HATE...

CROCS! Ugh! Hate is a strong word and I believe it's the most appropriate. If you insist on wearing these ugly things, please make sure they match...somewhat. 99.9% of the ppl I've seen wearing them have on the most ODD color that doesn't and will never match a d@mn thing. WHY?! Where's Jadakiss when you need him? I will never know why people insist on walkin around lookin like they got photoshopped with the feet of a cartoon character. This epidemic is getting out of hand. I swear I saw a lady in the grocery store with a business suit and purple crocs. No ma'am Pam.

P.S. Kids are exempt
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July 28, 2008

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE


...and to think - I didn't think it was possible to mess up a Rihanna song more than it already is*.

*nothing against her or anything. its not her fault she sounds like a goat on helium
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July 27, 2008

POSE FOR THE CAMERA NOW - FLICK, FLICK




"Play the 'Thong Song'!" -B. Banner
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RING THE ALARM!


Now I was born at night, but I wasn't born last night!* I woke up this morning to some strange person knocking on my door. Now, my policy is that if I don't know you and I'm not expecting you, I'm not opening a d@mn thing. Usually after a couple knocks and no answer the 'person' goes away. Nooooo, not this fella. He kept knocking & knocking. Under the influence of my posse, I finally was like "(WTH) who is it?!? This fool is responds "Me". Me?!? I DONT KNOW YOU! Then a conversation ensues:

Me: Who?
Slim Shady: Me
Me: WHO?!?
Slim Shady: [insert name here]
Me: Ummm...do you need somethin?
Slim Shady: Do you have a phone I can use??
Me: NO!

NOW YOU KNOW! I watch enough Law & Order, CSI, First 48, Forensic Files, etc, to know that don't even sound right. A phone? Dude, thats so cliche. This fool either had some straight criminal intent (early Sunday Morning - Ay Dios Mio!) or he was slow. I'm not one to profile, but this dude was, as my mom would say, "looking like a gangster with gang colors on" (white tee - lol). Did he really think I was gonna open the door?! In the words of mom dukes "I DON'T HAVE A PHONE, BUT I GOT A GUN!!" K is for kickin @ss on Sunday mornin'!

* I think that saying is hilarious; unfortunately I was not born @ night
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FAMILY AFFAIR

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July 25, 2008

SILK LINED BLAZERS, DIAMOND CREAM FACIALS, ETC...

The blog is looking a little bland and bootleg so I feel like I need an upgrade (although I'm probably the only one reading it...well besides my immediate fam. Nevermind, they don't even read it) Anywho, be prepared for a more asthetically pleasing look b/c that little glimpse of liiiiight, makes a diamond really shiiiiine! My current setup looks cheap - and theres nothing cheap about me. Well, except the spaghettios, kool-aid & 50-pack of popsicles @ my crib. Blog, let me upgrade you!
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July 24, 2008

A MELANGE*


I will find any excuse to put a Sade song in a vid...

*look it up
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FLASHBACK


Saying a lot of nothing (4.15.08). Lame.
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WTF??

I'm totally offended. First a punk @$$ burger, now this... :-(
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SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME


WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A family court judge in New Zealand has had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names here, and did something about it. Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. He had her renamed. Judge Rob Murfitt made the 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name could be changed, he said in a ruling made public Thursday.

Source
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OMG! This has got to be the funniest ish I've seen in a long time! Her first name is 'Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii"?! Imagine roll call in school. The teacher would totally have the "WTF" face while supressing laughter. I would. Apparently the girl was so embarrassed at the name that she told friends to call her 'K' (cause she jockin and thats the best letter of the alphabet) then the court got involved saying "It makes a fool of the child..." Huh?! Her name is awesome! I wish I had a name like that. You know how hard it would be to steal her identity? Kids are so ungrateful! But I ain't even mad - they could have at least named her "Talula Does The Hula From New Zealand". Her name is a sentence! LMAO!

Registration officials blocked some names, including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. But others were allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter "and tragically, Violence," he said.

......flatline.
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July 23, 2008

SUMMER RAIN

As it rains outside and I sit around like the bum I am and am reminded of how relaxing 'summer rain' can be. It whispers me to sleep and wakes me up again. Where art thou Carl Thomas? Anywho, this is much needed rain and at the same time it allows me to simply mellow out. Its funny how rain seems to be a catalyst for deep thinking. Or maybe thats just me. Speaking of rain, it kinda sucks b/c I don't like to get my hair wet. If I'm caught sans umbrella (ella ella ay) I'll put a Food Lion bag over my whole head and cut out eye holes with the quickness. Desperate times call for desperate measures. BELIEVE DAT!
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GO SHAWTY! ITS YA BIRTHDAY!

OMG! Its my mom's birthday today! She's turning ____ years old and I just wanted to shout her out real quick. She's always had my back (literally, as you can see) and I l♥ve her! Happy Birthday Ma!
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July 22, 2008

I DON'T GET IT

I know the scarf swag has been hot for a lil minute now, but lets be real people. It is HOT outside. Like really, really hot all over the US. Like I almost melted today. Why are people still wearing these things? Why are people wearing them like this? They're like the urban Lil Red Riding Hood & Mother Theresa. Jesus take the wheel....ASAP.
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"I WONDER"



I was browsing through some old photos of mine, and noticed something very peculiar. I wonder. Do great minds really think alike? Or is SOMEBODY jockin??!  K is for Kanye. *theylookbetteronme*

"If y'all fresh to death, then I'm deceased" -K. West

R.I.P
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July 21, 2008

L'EGGO MY EGGO


So if you're lucky enough to live in an area where there are waffle houses every so many miles, then I know you have a few tales to tell. Late night waffle house runs are one of the many things in life that bring me extreme joy. Whether it's witnessing waitresses argue over who stole who's waffle (hence the title), or being completely ignored for 15 minutes, I just can't get enough. My most recent experience allowed me to add a notch to my waffle house storybook. I was in North Carolina for the weekend, and after a party (typical) went to the local waffle house. Ok, maybe it did look a little strange being that it was a white party and all (4) of us were dressed in white. But really though, one man couldn't stop staring. He didn't even attempt to hide it. After about 5 minutes of gawking he was finally like "eff it, ima just ask". In the most country bumkin accent he proceeds to ask "excuuuuse me, why are y'all awwwll dressed in whiiite?" After explaining to him we were at a white party he looks confused. Then tells us he thought we were a singing group (I bet). His buddy then inquires "Why werent we invited". OMG! Get it!!? They were white?! Thats so funny! NOT. BTW, he continued to stare the rest of the time he was there as 2 kids ate breakfast/dinner in the booth behind us (it was 2am) and our waitress proudly donned 100+ pens (after I was dared to ask, found out they were all from customers. she's cool) stuffed in her pockets and hair while arguing with the cook. Gotta love it.
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MY IPOD : MY FAVORITE SONG IN LIFE



"Like A Tattoo" ~ Sade
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BACK FOR THE 1ST TIME...


I got this blog awhile ago, but never really got into the phenomenon which is blogging and updating on a consistent basis. I figure since it's a good way to reflect and vent (not to mention its whats hot in the streets right now - not that I'm a follower or anything) I'd attempt to get back into the habit. Since I love my Macbook and want to get my G+ money's worth out of it, I'll go the video blog route along with the usual text postings. Don't you just love technology? K is not only for karats, my friend. It's also for KOOL-AID!! Red, of course. OH YEAH!! Sorry, I'm random.
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